Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Should the Groom See the Bride Before the Wedding?
I always encourage my clients to do a "reveal" before the ceremony. Most decline because they want to preserve the surprise for the walk down the aisle. I don't push it at all... I don't really care much either way. What's important is that the couple are happy with their decision. I'm not unhappy if they don't want to do it.
That being said, I'm now going to tell you why you should do a reveal before the wedding.
Think about it: You want your husband to see you in that dress and be knocked out. You want him to have an emotional reaction and you want to see it and share it. So, you reveal yourself to him in your dress for the first time, 50 feet away in a room full of people who are standing and staring at you both, with your father walking next to you! Your husband will be having an emotional reaction but he will be fighting it with everything he's got because he's being stared at by 150 people and your Dad! No man wants to start crying in front of his father-in-law. If he does have an emotional reaction, you can't see it because you're in the back of the room. Add to that the fact that both of you are trying to concentrate on the ceremony (so complex that it requires a full-rehearsal) and you realize that there is a very special moment here that is being shoved aside for other concerns.
Allow your husband to see you in your dress for the first time in a setting where he can truly take it in and relish the moment. He wants to hold you... he wants to kiss you... he wants to tell you how beautiful you look. He can't do any of that during the ceremony. He has to wait until it's all over to tell you how incredible you look and by then the rush of the moment is gone.
Let me make it easy for you. If a man is going to propose to you, would you rather he do it in an intimate setting with just the two of you or on the Jumbo-tron at a ballgame? My guess is that you picked the intimate setting. It's hard to be "in the moment" with 50,000 people staring at you.
Do a "reveal." Allow yourself to have a special, intimate moment before the wedding that is yours and yours alone. Then, go do the ceremony as a team. You'll both be more relaxed and confident. Don't worry, there are still 150 people who are going to gasp and cry when you appear.
Oh, I almost forgot to mention, you also get great pictures. :)
Booray Perry is a great wedding photographer with a funny name who works in Tampa Bay, FL.